I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
