i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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