2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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