It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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