I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
