i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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