i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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