Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
