Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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