i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
