Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
