you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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