I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
