Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
