what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
