he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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