I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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