Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
