I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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