walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
