I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
