Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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