just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
