Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
