You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
