I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
