I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
