She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dicks are not precious.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
