We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
