I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
