I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we made out on top of his cat.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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