The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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