You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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