I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
handjob tips. give me some.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
