Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think your dad took our porno
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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