That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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