Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
