just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
this will be a night to untag.
Someone shattered a urinal.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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