He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
