I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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