I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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