There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
