tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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