he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
