He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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