somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Alive.
So much puke
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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