I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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