problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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