honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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