It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
