Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
