I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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